There were also serious issues to be resolved. Rumors were rife that chili heads had greased some palms to skew the outcome of the original vote. We sent questionnaires to lawmakers asking if they were willing to override the Legislature’s previous action and recognize the true importance of brisket. In an effort to elevate barbecue to its rightful throne, I joined with several friends some years back to form the Texas Barbecue Appreciation Society. Had chili been on the menu instead, the NATO alliance might have fallen apart. When LBJ and Lady Bird famously hosted German chancellor Ludwig Erhard at the presidential ranch, in 1963, they served brisket. Top that, Kansas City! Stick to ribs, Memphis! Cut the coleslaw, North Carolina! There is no food more unambiguously identified with Texas than the brisket. This is the true test of brisket, the point every barbecue aficionado awaits, the fulfillment of the pitmaster’s art. At last, the moment arrives for the slices to be piled high upon a plate. The greatness of brisket lies in its ability to hold its flavor and temperature for hours, if necessary, and to maintain its integrity as a solid piece of meat. And let us not overlook the role of the master carver, whose exacting mission it is to pierce the center of the slab of beef, to sever the perfect slice therefrom. The ideal brisket, on the other hand, can inspire raptures on the beauty of a strategically placed ribbon of fat, not to mention the accompaniment of a sauce to tempt the culinary gods. It so happens that Texas had found itself at a moment in history when chili fanatics were beginning to spread their false gospel: that chili is an art form that it is our last link to the legends and ways of the open range and that, to that end, the chili cookoff came into being in Terlingua circa 1967 not as a publicity stunt but to celebrate the virtues, real or imagined, of a bowl of red. Had the barbecue lobby been caught napping? Had the voting machines in the House of Representatives malfunctioned, as they are wont to do? Had the highway to Lockhart been shut down?
This was a travesty, akin to naming catfish the official state seafood.
My protest was prompted by a misguided decision of the Sixty-fifth Texas Legislature, which, in a moment of collective insanity, had voted to declare chili the official state dish. Such is my disdain, in fact, that 35 years ago I wrote a T exas Monthly cover story denouncing it as “third-rate swill” and sat for a photo with a bowl of the stuff emptied over my head. Chili is the most overrated, overhyped variation on beef stew ever concocted by man. What is it about a bowl of red that appeals to the palate, anyway? Surely not beef suet, an essential ingredient in old-time recipes. A classic Texas dish, some would say-but not I.
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